Photo rights above: Fox Family Worldwide Inc.
Earlier this year I went to a conference for people wanting to start their own businesses. The common obstacle many business owners felt was fear and resistance. Nick Unsworth, the man that was running the conference said fear and resistance were main reasons why businesses never got started or why businesses never took off. For him and his coaching clients he started to name that fear. He decided to name the fear and resistance Felicia, so that when he felt it he would say to himself or say to his clients “bye Felicia” from the movie Friday.
Lately I have been stretching my comfort zones in many new ways. Starting a podcast, posting more on social media, singing Disney songs on snapchat in a Smeagol voice (My snapchat ID is beejk87 add me!), writing blog posts, and going full force into coaching clients to help them take their businesses to the next level or coaching people to change their career paths.
Most days this new life and career feels amazing. I’m living my life purpose and creating things I love as my “job”.
Other days however, not so much.
Some days I feel like the business is not moving as quickly as I feel that it should be moving (that “should” word can be such a negative word), or days where I get rejected, or when I post a blog article that is a little too vulnerable.
On those days I feel the inner critic, fear, resistance start to rear its head. The inner critic says things like:
“Who do you think you are to be able to write a blog or create a podcast”
“You are not going to succeed”
“Look at everybody else and how much more successful they are, you aren’t going to make it”
“You will fail”
“Why don’t you go get a normal job and stop trying to carve out a different path”
Pretty harsh stuff I know, but these are the voices that come up from time to time.
Some call this voice the inner critic. It's that voice we all have that wants to keep us safe and secure.
The thing about those voices is that if left unchecked they ruin my day. They ruin me emotionally because I get down on myself. The inner critic also kills my productivity. I end of moping around, start browsing social media for no reason, or I look at my snapchat story feed for way too long.
The inner critic snowballs into an all day war within myself and starts to fester inside me.
I had a call with my coach and we discussed these thoughts that kill my productivity. We identified that giving the critic a name may help to have a strategy to overcome it and not let the thoughts and feelings snowball and fester.
Fester….when I said that I knew immediately what I wanted to call my critic.
If you have ever seen Adams Family you know Uncle Fester.
My inner critic, fear, resistance, self critical voice, is now named Uncle Fester.
The reason I gave this voice a name is I want to know who and what I’m battling. Left to its own devices it will grow and consume me and ultimately make me quit this new venture I have embarked upon. I also want to be able to put a funny looking face to give it less power.
I don’t want to slay the beast. Saying I want to kill or maim Uncle Fester is not going to do any good for me. Uncle Fester is there for a reason. It's the part of me that wants to protect me. Killing that side of me would be killing a part of me. Rather I want to notice Uncle Fester, ask of it what its intention is and then stop Uncle Fester immediately. I realize it often shows itself because I have stretched outside my comfort zone which is a great thing!
What does your inner critic say to you when you do something outside of your comfort zone? Do you notice it when you start to think about a new career, when you create a piece of art, or launch a part of your business that you are uncertain whether it was succeed or not?
My recommendation is that you give it a name so that you can say “Bye Felicia” or “Thanks Uncle Fester, but I’m okay”.
Please don’t let your inner critic kill the dreams and goals you have. Create that crazy thing that makes you feel uncomfortable and/or chase your dreams whether it may be work related or life related!
What are your thoughts on the inner critic and does naming yours give it less power?